Legally Blonde

I love watching movies and movies are my therapy when I am feeling low and depressed. Yesterday was a nightmare, being accused by a friend for not caring for someone that I really cared for. I do not know why, I cant detach myself from such accusations. Why is it that all the criticism I take seriously even when I know that the criticism is not valid but on the other hand, i find it extremely hard to accept a genuine compliment. I spent whole of yesterday feeling guilty,blaming myself and crying.

Two hours ago, I suddenly remembered my favorite film and I decided to watch it again. Trust me, this movie always helps. I think I watched it for the fourth or fifth time but it works magic. Elle Woodes. In real life, I am far from that character in many ways but at the same time there are many qualities of hers that I recognize in myself. I am not blonde (in terms of my hair colour) but I feel I am dumb in many practical and crucial aspects of life where Elle is an ace. I so love her character, her passion for life, and her empathy towards the others. She is smart, she speaks her heart, she is genuine and she does win people's heart. She was humiliated time and again and she was isolated by most 'elite' Harvard law students but she persists and perseveres. She lives by her values and wont compromise with them at any cost. The secrets of her friends are safe with her. What I admire about her the most is that she is comfortable in her own skin, she doesn't care about what other's have to say about her most of the time but gets terribly hurt when a senior colleague appreciates her not for her intelligence and wit but for her beauty and body.

I want to be like Elle Woodes. I want to be myself, not someone who is bogged down by what people have assumed about me, or what they have to say about me. I must know who I am and not wait for people to validate my goodness. I know I am not selfish, I know I care for my loved ones and my friends. Why do I have to feel dejected by the accusations made by others every now and then? How many more months and years, I am going to torment myself to be accepted by the people who do not see any real value in me? Elle Woodes, I owe you this one. You made me smile again. You reminded me what is important and worth aspiring at and what should be out of my life. Thank you girl for being the ray of light in that darkness.