Nijmegen, life skills and walking on ice

'Start Again' is really my word for now. I moved to Nijmegen, a university town in the Netherlands almost on German border. I had so much of belongings that a professor had to drove me down with all my bags and baggages. We still could not bring along my bike. The two hour road drive from Amsterdam to Nijmegen was a feast of thoughts and discussions. I talked nonstop, about my meditation experience, my upcoming thesis, my classmates and how nostalgic i still feel about Amsterdam. The registration at university was smooth walk, so was signing of new housing contract and finding my apartment. Thanks to a dutch guide who almost became my companion for the day in moving and starting a new life. We spent some time setting up my place and more talks followed over dutch dinner of bread, cheese and tea. First meal in my new apartment. I have lost track of how many times I have moved places in last one year. Each new place and I have to start organizing my life all over again, find the grocery stores, figure out my way to the school, befriend the 'cooking stove' and finally make new social contacts. In Nijmegen, I have just begun and I am already liking the place.

Nijmegen is the oldest city in the Netherlands, almost 2000 years old which makes it comparable to places like Varanasi in India. Whatever little I have seen around me here in last two days, the city has her own charm. There is some sort of predetermined plan that I am staying in very 'spiritual' apartment complexes. First it was beautiful medieval Groot Begijnhof and now it is Westerhelling, an old monastery in the woods converted into student housing. Bosweg, a street nearby indicates the presence of woods which are right now just leafless and life less trees and ice. But I can visualize how this neighborhood will look in the summer or spring. We are also situated on a bit of a hill as compared to other areas and that makes it even more special. The walkways in this city are right now dangerous due to ice, very slippery and scary. I have never watched my step so carefully ever in my life the way I do here. May be not true, i took similar care while trekking in Himalayas at 17000 feet but here one wrong step and a terrible fall will follow. It seems the city has ran out of salt to sprinkle on the roads. I so terribly miss my bike, i need her urgently. I might bring her home this weekend. One could ask why not rent a new bike in Nijmegen? Well it is a good question and probably wise thing to do but I need 'my' bike, I have a strange connection with her. I got used to her and feel confident that with her I am safe. I want to explore Nijmegen on the same bike that I explored Amsterdam with. She is my metonymic connection with freedom, with being myself. Other reason which is equally valid is that i get to go to Amsterdam where I have such rich social life, great friends and hours of great conversations over food. I feel like Amsterdam girl and it is going to be a challenge to control my urges to run to Amsterdam at every single opportunity. I want to make Nijmegen my new home, new comfort zone for next few months and I need to find an Asian grocery store nearby, or you might find me visiting Amsterdam to buy some lentils or very specific Indian food products and groceries.

Let me tell you about another very important insight I had in recent days. I lack certain life skills completely. For example, though, I have been constantly on a move, I do not know how to read maps and follow the directions. I just do not have faculty in my brain required to interpret those complex maps and find my way around. I have a potential to get lost in my neighborhood even after a month long stay. I do not know how to swim, that is another big deficiency in my life skills and worst is the fact that I do not know how to drive. Driving stresses me out completely. I become a nightmare for the person driving the car if i am the one sitting next to him or her. Ask my professor, I not only get stressed myself as if i am watching a horror movie but I completely stress out the driver. I do not know how he could remain so calm with my irrational stress about driving and being driven. I was equally bad when I started riding a bike in Amsterdam, most prone to falls, getting scared if a big car comes from front, worried to cross each signal and trust me Netherlands is probably most safe place to ride a bike, there are clear bike paths, the signals are well marked but still I would just fall for no reason or bump into lamp posts or road blockers. That is me. I feel only thing I am good at is walking in terms of mobility if i do not get lost. Learning to swim and drive will have to wait but in Nijmegen, I decided to learn how to find my way using a map. I am serious about it. By the end of Nijmegen stay, I am going to be expert in reading and following maps.

Y'day morning I started 75 minutes before classes, keeping enough buffer time for getting lost on my way to school. I looked at google maps, the city maps, chalked out my path, remembered all the names of streets i will cross and at 7.30am, i started from home. Came out of my apartment complex, it was pitch dark, the path was slippery, no names of the roads and streets could be found but i was confident about my chalked out path using maps. I started walking in high spirits but nothing looked familiar. No human beings around and no cars would stop for me to ask them directions. I kept walking, slowly getting concerned. Finally I saw a man on the bike, I stopped him and asked if I was on the right path and he smiled and said, 'No, you are walking in opposite direction'. Do you see how good I am at reading the maps. I started in wrong direction. Then he explained to me in ley man's language, 'walk straight, right, another right and then left and then walk straight' but I had to walk 1.5 kms to reach the point where I started in wrong direction. I walked and every time I crossed a little street mentioned in the map, my heart started jumping with joy. The maps are correct, so are all the signals and the crossings, they follow the map or rather maps perfectly represent the roads and crossings. I knew they were correct but now I was experiencing it and that was a great 'moral' experience of my body I guess, to know from experience that the map is not only correct but can also get me to the right destination if I follow it correctly. What an empowering feeling. I loved it. I walked for an hour and fifteen minutes, through snow and ice and along the bike paths where I am not suppose to walk in ordinary days but at the end of it, I was happy. I did not feel tired, there was no sensation of cold. I was rather warm and sweaty with all that walking. I entered the class with that stupid grin on my face, the joy of finding my way. Realizing that however lost I might feel in general, if I determine, I can find my way out in most hazy, unclear and confusing walks of life. From that moment on, the day unfolded in such a beautiful way, everything just fell in right place. Great class, interesting discussions. I have found my voice again. I have found my interest in the subject again. My head was buzzing with thoughts and ideas and i walked home with much higher confidence thinking and smiling to myself..this seems like real new start of my life. I am curious where will this journey take me?