Dear Lisa

Dear Lisa,

I do not know who you are? What you do? Whether you exist in real world in real sense or not. But as I learned about you this evening through the lecture of Prof. Paige, I felt an instant connection with you. That is why I decided to write to you.

Lisa, this is what I understood about you. You were an undergrad student from the United States (one of the case studies in their larger research project trying to assess the impact of studying abroad). You went to Germany, Bolivia, Australia and Antarctica during your January term student exchange programs. I do not understand what that means, nor do I care. But I definitely got curious about this young woman who chooses 4 continents for her exchange programs and that includes Antarctica. I must tell you I have been dreaming about visiting Antarctica since I was 13, now I am 31 but I am far from Antarctica. So I am damn impressed and I could actually imagine you studying icebergs and the melting glaciers and polar ice caps as part of your little project on Global Warming. You changed your professional career from history major to Nursing and that was due to experience in Bolivia. You wanted to learn something with the help of which you could be of help to the others. What other field one could choose other than health care to reach out to people in any corner of the world. I understand your choice perfectly.

Then comes a beautiful postal stamp from Vietnam showing a penguin from Argentina I guess.. and next to that flashes the following line.

'I bike to school because I want penguins to live'. Lisa.

My heart went all out to you. I could imagine baffled faces of your parents and friends who must have said something like, 'she has gone nuts since those crazy exchange programs she has started doing. Who wants to bike to school, its so old fashioned and not so cool'. Your parents must have got concerned, many must have criticized you or made fun of you but there was our Lisa biking to school to save the penguins. It was not just a project on global warming to complete the credit requirements but you made changes in your life style to reduce global warming.

Lisa, I almost feel your pulse. For last 8 years, I have been struggling to find myself a place in my own society where I can be comfortable and still be accepted by the family and the friends. I feel such a misfit so many times and I try hard to fit into what I should have been as an 'Indian woman' if I would not have undertaken all that crazy traveling not only within India but also beyond. All the traveling changed so many things about who I am, and how I think, but my dear ones almost get shocked and disappointed every time they see me undergo another change. They complain that I am not the same me anymore and I take it as my fault that I am not the same me. I did try hard to adapt myself to my own home culture but I could not. I don't know how to explain this but it is like that Chinese saying 'you cant step in the same river twice'. I cant disown the change that these exposures have brought out in me. They are now very much part of who I am, my substance of being. But I still want to fit in my culture, I seek that approval from my society. I do not like it when I am almost always described as that weirdo who keeps studying crazy things and traveling to dangerous and strange places and then she comes home and has such stories about all the places that she has been that it seems like they are coming from her own imagination and not the reality. I have just a few friends left back home now that I feel lonely, almost isolated from what was once my community. I do have wonderful friends across the globe though but I think you will understand how it feels when you are alone in your own family and your own little community.

So all this while I thought that my restlessness and my ever 'traveling/wandering self' was my weakness. They say 'I am not settled or i am not keen on settling down. I am without a pivot, a grounding'. I started internalizing these judgments and interpretations. But today listening to your story, I felt may be that is not true. Probably what I have is a strength called Intercultural skills which could be built into intercultural competence. I never thought about myself in such a positive way. Its ok to accept myself the way I am even if it means being alone with less friends or being criticized by my society as long as I am happy with my choices. What else do I need? Finally I am at peace with myself and I must thank you for this.

I will always remember you 'lisa with her bike' every time I uproot myself from a place and start on a new journey of exploration, a new country, a new culture, a new continent and new myself being born in me. I am going to accept that change in me rather than fight it.

So.....where do I want to go next?