Home country

I am born and raised in India and I hold an Indian passport. All my ancestors, forefathers as far as I know have been Indians. So that makes me an Indian and that automatically makes India my home country. But what does that really mean? I have always enjoyed social science debates on citizenship, nationality, race and ethnicity...and how all of these are more or less social constructions... causing enough political and social struggles... I also have friends who claim themselves to be Europeans...This is just an extremely complicated example of one such friend... but I love this one....  'My mom is Scottish, my father is French.  My maternal ancestors were actually Sami descendent ..I was born in Italy but I have lived most of my life in Germany and now I am in Switzerland....  '... bingo... I always wonder.. how does she define her home-country?  Does it depend on what passport she holds? and what if she has two passports? Even interesting question is if passport can automatically make a nation state someone's home country?

Then I look at myself.... I don't have such complicated lineage... I don't think till my generation, any one in my family even married someone from other state of India, speaking another Indian language... and I have spend longest time of my life in India... so I should not have any difficulties in answering my home-country... it is simple and straight forward... India...

But is it really that simple? Yes for all practical, political, social, logical reasons, India is my home-country...I look Indian, I speak many Indian languages, I am most closely acquainted with Indian culture, history, way of life, literature, tradition and systems and I can cook only Indian food. I am also grateful for the fact that everywhere outside India, I am perceived as an Indian and with that generally people have respectful and curious outlook towards me. But I must admit, this is just part of me... I am more than my nationality and my citizenship and I have hard time to figure  out where is my home and what is my country?

I am convinced that there are many people around this world who have similar struggles of identity. My struggles are not because of some wars or conflicts that made me flee my country. No there is nothing as dramatic. I am also well aware of the struggles of millions of refugees and asylum seekers who had no choice but to escape their countries and find a safe refuge. But even in most mundane yet safe everyday life, many of us feel out of place in our own place.. and totally at home in some foreign land. why does that happen?

many cultures around the world share this saying.. 'home is where the heart is'. Can we say the same thing about our countries? I guess home country in some way gives you a sense of belonging.. you feel at home there, you have your sense of support there.. you understand the system around you... you feel more or less you fit in there... but still the question remains... does it have to be one country or it could be many countries? Could this feeling change over time or it remains constant all the while? It almost sounds as if we have to be loyal to one home country as we might be expected in a loyal monogamous relationship.. but my guess is just like in relationships, most of us struggle with their relationship with their home-country.. at least I do...

In today's globalized world, with ample opportunities for migration and immigration, high-speed transport and mobility systems, different communication modalities, our everyday life has undergone drastic changes. Family which was once upon time the strongest support system for individuals, is slowly getting replaced by other support systems including friendships and new forms of kinships. The world has come closer and many identify themselves more as global citizens... I definitely relate to that concept.. I am more than just an Indian... I have soaked myself in life in many different countries, I have felt at home in every country that I have been to. My circle of friends is spread around the world and so are my concerns... a war in Gaza feels as worrisome as a conflict in Kashmir... an earthquake in Lima shocks me as hard as a typhoon in Philippines. A writer from Bosnia is as influential on me as an activist from Rwanda... celebrations and losses and my own connection with  it all have definitely grown beyond the political borders of India... this whole world is my oyster.. and I do not like to be restricted to one nation, one region, one community, one religion, one race or one ethnicity... I am more than that....and the opportunity to live in this global village defintely makes my life interesting...

But there is also a flip side to it... it feels as if I have been carrying my home on my back for way too long like a snail. I might be included and integrated in different cultures, in the process I have also got excluded from my own culture.. In India, I am never enough of an Indian and outside I cant be anything but an Indian. I am at home everywhere but I belong no where... in some ways I am stuck in the middle.... ready to drift with the next big influence... I wish some day... I will find my anchor... I will truly feel being rooted somewhere... for whatever reasons, family, career, freedom, sense of belonging... I dont know what that will be... I want to root myself deep... in such a way that.. no matter where I get rooted.. I feel strong and I can be me...

I have friends who have gone around the world in search of something or wanting to escape certain pressures.. and then eventually realized that if they wanted they could have lived a life of their choice in any one place.. including their home-land only if they would have shown the courage to live on their own terms and conditions... the moment that happened, they made peace with themselves and their home lands... I just hope, some day I will also reach that stage of realization.... till then, I will keep wondering about where do I belong? Where is my home? Where are my roots? and what is my home-country?