If I wear a snowflake

I love snow... and as my surroundings are under the blanket of fresh snow at this moment, I cant help but think of my girl friends with whom I enjoyed first snow fall in my life... This post is for Nid, Andrea, Nuria, Kiki and Chantal... it is three years ago that we celebrated the first snow fall in Amsterdam together...but I can still feel that same excitement, I remember that loud thumping on the doors of our hostel rooms at 6am, I still see us jumping out of the bed, looking out of the window, grabbing the coats and running down to be in the snow,I can still hear our screams and laughter, attempts to make designs in the snow and write our names... and I still very clearly remember the phone calls that went criss-crossing across the world from the Netherlands to Indonesia, India, Rwanda, Thailand and El Salvador just to describe the beauty of snow fall to our loved ones back home....

Snowfall is a magical moment for me. Past three winters I have spent in Europe gave me ample chance to enjoy snow and extreme cold weather... We had to learn how to walk on the snow without falling... we learned it hard way, after sustaining number of falls.. It was dangerous to bike through the city... since we obviously did not know about black ice.. how many times did we barely survive disastrous bike falls... we had to learn how to dress warm.. but nothing stopped us from enjoying the snow...  we were just happy romancing the snow and the winter.. taking hundreds of pictures, walking on the frozen Amsterdam canals.. watching the locals skating everywhere...the city looked different in winter.... just like the pictures in fairy tale collections... I am not at all tired of snow yet, rather the contrary... Snow still makes me very happy....and light...

This weekend we had loads of snow in Switzerland.. this is not the first snow of the season but it is first snow fall for me in this country.. and I drifted away into past and I got enchanted by the magical landscapes of the present. Train ride this morning from Zurich to Basel, the mountains, the leafless trees, the roofs of the houses and the towers of the churches, pastures and the roads, everything covered in thick blanket of snow... I am absolutely incapable of capturing that beauty in words... the sun shining bright... clear blue sky and silvery white landscape...the leafless trees suddenly blossomed into snow flowers .. I love snow flowers.... they are all white but they take strange shapes... they even cover the most dependent parts of the branches, like white blood vessels along the branches...  I wanted to share this moment with my mom and brother who have not seen the snowfall yet... but it was useless to make any attempts to take pictures.. no words, no pictures.. how do I transport this magical phenomenon across the oceans to warm, humid Mumbai? There is no way to do it I guess...

Snow flakes in my hair, snow flakes on my face, snow flakes on my wide open arms... snow flakes pouring over me... exact same feeling when I drench myself under first monsoon showers in Mumbai each June... I melt away in the rain, I wash away all my pain and grief, I jump in puddles of water and splash water everywhere .. I throw away my Umbrella... because I want the rain drops to percolate through every inch of my skin...... the rain and the snow... and the same me.... tiny speck in larger scheme of the universe..

I love winters, I can manage them much better than the hot summers... The winter gives me hope, in spite of Gray sky and shorter days..... it tells me I can hibernate under the blanket of snow.. give up all the resistance, surrender myself to life... it assures me that I am safe there... under the snow, like the seeds who go into dormancy... like the pansies which bury themselves under the snow, like the snow-bells who go to sleep but resurface with great vigour and vitality as the nature passes through yet another transition... It is ok to rest, it is ok to sleep... it is not the end of the life, rather it is beginning of new cycle of life... Snow-bells are my favourite flowers.. the symbols of resistance and persistence, beauty and vulnerability... strength and surrender...I wish I could be like snow-bells....Jei, remember our walk through the snow and conversations with the pansies? I must have those pictures somewhere.... I miss you girl.. hope you are safe.....

So, if I were a snow flake, I think I will be blue in colour, tiny and feather light, swirling around myself as I gravitate towards the earth.... I would twist and turn, dance to my own tunes and with my own moves, free and careless as if there is nothing else but just this moment to be a happy snow flake, yes I will be a happy snow flake with a banana smile on my snow flake face....... not afraid of loosing my existence... or my identity.. going with the flow... enjoying the journey, watching over the world from above... I will pull the pigtail of few of my fellow snow flakes... annoy them a bit... but also I will give them gentle hugs....without damaging their fancy dresses.... I will romance the breeze drifting me away.. without questioning where I am heading to.... trusting whole heartedly... that eventually I will find my place to rest... my place to sleep.... I will find my way.... I dont want to fall on a roof of a house.. or on a running car... I have to find my place.... there it is... an elderly lady crossing the street.. with grocery bags in her hand.... I go towards her.... I look at her... beautiful face, shining eyes that narrate her entire life story.....intricate design of the wrinkles of her skin,  that smile on her face... and that song in her heart... she has seen it all for way too long but she still can find magic in this moment... she is my nest.... she is my rest.... I give myself up... and i land on tip of her nose.... she feels me... she smiles... I smile...we connect, we meet, we talk....and in a fraction of second.. I melt away.. leaving little moisture on her nose and warmth in her heart.........