I love writing letters. Some are long and some are just little notes. The joy is not only in writing them but also in being creative to tuck them away in various places for my loved ones to discover in a most unexpected moment...
I inherited this character from my mother who wrote to me hundreds of letters by hand and she still continues to do so. She is also the brain behind tucking them away... sometimes in my jacket, sometimes in my suitcase, sometimes in a book or even in a food bag.... As a child, I remember her words... 'If you want to receive letters, you have to write them first'. I started writing and kept waiting for some letters to be answered.. but I must say, mostly I got disappointed. Only person who wrote letters to me year after year is my mother. At the end of each day, when I walk back home, first I rush to the mail box. When I have an envelop which is not a bill or a bank statement, a big bright smile shines on my face and then I have to really work hard to contain my excitement till I am in my apartment on the third floor.... I need to be in my 'space' to read the letters, though I must admit I have opened and read letters by the sea, by the canals, in the parks, woods, and mostly in the airports... yes, I think airports top the list..
I am not discounting emails at all.. I write literally hundreds of emails.. to my friends... and I am equally happy to receive an email reply.. I must admit, the chances of getting a reply are much higher through emails than to a handwritten letters.. but still I am a bit old fashioned and I love writing and receiving hand written letters. About eight months ago, I started writing letters to people that I do not know... it was a new experiment for two reasons, first how do I write to someone that I dont know? Can I ever touch a cord with them? What could I write to them? I did not want to write generic letters. So I just started describing what I was doing and experiencing at that moment... I thought it was easier to write about my deepest fears to strangers in some ways... like Mr Schmidt writing to this little boy in Africa... and second, I was also afraid.. was I exposing myself to some sort of danger? What if someone takes advantage of me through my writings.. so solution I devised was to send letters without my name and address...
two weeks ago, an angel in Germany reached out to people through facebook, asking if they would like to receive a hand written letter.. a love letter to be precise... my heart jumped with joy and excitement.. and I immediately asked her to send me a letter... After having written so many letters, I was going to receive one, that too from someone that I do not know.. how cool and special is that?
This morning, I got home and was welcomed by her letter.. what a beautiful envelop, and that curvy handwriting.... I knew it was her without having looked at senders information.... I opened the letter carefully, with my heart beating faster than a machine... and a beautiful card came out with three little paper hearts...the card is no doubt special.. and so is the message... almost like a poetry, written in an equally artistic way on a butter paper in black ink.. each word straight from the heart, warming up my heart and making me smile and cry at the same time.... what struck me the most was her capacity to express herself in such a powerful way in so few words.. I am clearly not a woman of few words..... and her creative and artistic presentation .. unlike my letters which are wordy, scribbled on an ordinary paper, sometimes even on the blank opposite sides of used papers and train tickets... I hate to waste even a little white space on paper.. so I use paper to its last bit...I definitely don't have artistic abilities of any sort....
So this love letter from a stranger made my day today... without knowing me at all, she asked me some very powerful questions... how do I plan to be one with myself? How do I intend to grow into my truest potential? How do I show love to myself? She urged me to speak my truth today, everyday as often as possible, to feel each feeling and emotion, to soak myself in it, to express it without fear... she offered me her hand to tide over my fear as I cross this bridge...
Can I really express my emotions? I am afraid not, especially when they are related to people I love and care for the most... I am afraid that my emotions might hurt them... I feel my emotions are not as important as theirs... I give them my 200% but why is it that when it comes to expressing my own emotional struggles, I fail so miserably.... How can I be there for my friends and family without compromising on my own joy, and happiness, without hiding my own sorrow and pain...
So I want to leave you with two thoughts....
First, is there someone in your life that you wanted to reach out to and express your love, admiration, inspiration, respect, reverence for them? I urge you to take a pen and paper or use your computer and let the words flow... send them away... don't keep these words and emotions to yourself.. because often, even the people that you think know you the best, have no clue what storms are raging inside you, what thoughts are cutting sharply through every inch of your heart....
Second, how do you perceive your ability to express your emotions? Do you feel confident? Do you find right words? Do you always understand what exactly are you feeling? I often find myself confused... am I really feeling this or it is just my own imagination... even bigger struggle of mine is to believe and trust in my emotions... are they not subjective, irrational, often leading us into unclear zones.. I think that is what scares me the most about my own emotions.. I have silenced them for so long... that now when they are slowly starting to knock on the door of my mind, I feel as if the ground under my feet is giving away, I am afraid to open that door.. because I don't have capacity to deal with them... do you have some thoughts for me to walk through this maze of emotional webs?
I inherited this character from my mother who wrote to me hundreds of letters by hand and she still continues to do so. She is also the brain behind tucking them away... sometimes in my jacket, sometimes in my suitcase, sometimes in a book or even in a food bag.... As a child, I remember her words... 'If you want to receive letters, you have to write them first'. I started writing and kept waiting for some letters to be answered.. but I must say, mostly I got disappointed. Only person who wrote letters to me year after year is my mother. At the end of each day, when I walk back home, first I rush to the mail box. When I have an envelop which is not a bill or a bank statement, a big bright smile shines on my face and then I have to really work hard to contain my excitement till I am in my apartment on the third floor.... I need to be in my 'space' to read the letters, though I must admit I have opened and read letters by the sea, by the canals, in the parks, woods, and mostly in the airports... yes, I think airports top the list..
I am not discounting emails at all.. I write literally hundreds of emails.. to my friends... and I am equally happy to receive an email reply.. I must admit, the chances of getting a reply are much higher through emails than to a handwritten letters.. but still I am a bit old fashioned and I love writing and receiving hand written letters. About eight months ago, I started writing letters to people that I do not know... it was a new experiment for two reasons, first how do I write to someone that I dont know? Can I ever touch a cord with them? What could I write to them? I did not want to write generic letters. So I just started describing what I was doing and experiencing at that moment... I thought it was easier to write about my deepest fears to strangers in some ways... like Mr Schmidt writing to this little boy in Africa... and second, I was also afraid.. was I exposing myself to some sort of danger? What if someone takes advantage of me through my writings.. so solution I devised was to send letters without my name and address...
two weeks ago, an angel in Germany reached out to people through facebook, asking if they would like to receive a hand written letter.. a love letter to be precise... my heart jumped with joy and excitement.. and I immediately asked her to send me a letter... After having written so many letters, I was going to receive one, that too from someone that I do not know.. how cool and special is that?
This morning, I got home and was welcomed by her letter.. what a beautiful envelop, and that curvy handwriting.... I knew it was her without having looked at senders information.... I opened the letter carefully, with my heart beating faster than a machine... and a beautiful card came out with three little paper hearts...the card is no doubt special.. and so is the message... almost like a poetry, written in an equally artistic way on a butter paper in black ink.. each word straight from the heart, warming up my heart and making me smile and cry at the same time.... what struck me the most was her capacity to express herself in such a powerful way in so few words.. I am clearly not a woman of few words..... and her creative and artistic presentation .. unlike my letters which are wordy, scribbled on an ordinary paper, sometimes even on the blank opposite sides of used papers and train tickets... I hate to waste even a little white space on paper.. so I use paper to its last bit...I definitely don't have artistic abilities of any sort....
So this love letter from a stranger made my day today... without knowing me at all, she asked me some very powerful questions... how do I plan to be one with myself? How do I intend to grow into my truest potential? How do I show love to myself? She urged me to speak my truth today, everyday as often as possible, to feel each feeling and emotion, to soak myself in it, to express it without fear... she offered me her hand to tide over my fear as I cross this bridge...
Can I really express my emotions? I am afraid not, especially when they are related to people I love and care for the most... I am afraid that my emotions might hurt them... I feel my emotions are not as important as theirs... I give them my 200% but why is it that when it comes to expressing my own emotional struggles, I fail so miserably.... How can I be there for my friends and family without compromising on my own joy, and happiness, without hiding my own sorrow and pain...
So I want to leave you with two thoughts....
First, is there someone in your life that you wanted to reach out to and express your love, admiration, inspiration, respect, reverence for them? I urge you to take a pen and paper or use your computer and let the words flow... send them away... don't keep these words and emotions to yourself.. because often, even the people that you think know you the best, have no clue what storms are raging inside you, what thoughts are cutting sharply through every inch of your heart....
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