Exactly a year ago I started this blog in the memory of my father. The blog and writing has kept me great company throughout the year. I realize that sometimes writing has effects similar to therapy on me. I am feeling much better and in control even though there are issues that are still not addressed. I am looking forward to the life ahead and that is already an action and not just the idea or inspiration.
I received valuable feedback on my research proposal this morning. My proposal is well received and I feel motivated to go about it. My informal efforts around conducting the research might start on the new year's party. I have a couple of interviews lined up thanks to great friends in Amsterdam. The three months in Nijmegen are going to be crucial for my data collection but i am confident that with systematic planning, i will be able to manage the ongoing course work and conducting interviews. I plan to cut down the hours I spend on the internet, that aimless surfing which leads to nothing.. I have realized that if i do not have my mail box open while working, I work much better with less distractions. Otherwise, every time a new mail pops in, I tend to get distracted. A simple thing like not having some sites book marked has also helped. The social networking sites, some news sites, if i have to type in the web address, i found out, i do not feel that eager to do it. So 2day I have removed all such book marked pages that I really do not need to see. I am planning my days better. my list of things to do is now organized in groups of activities that can be carried out together and thus will be more efficient.
I want to be more outgoing, taking initiative to talk to people, to learn some networking skills. I understand that as long as i let the others speak, it is not all that bad to approach people. I am scared to start a conversation with people especially with those that i hardly know and even worse with those that I do not know. So i hang around only with people that I know and soon realize that I have nothing new to talk to them about. This new year's party at a friend's place, i aim to talk to at least 5 new people that I have never met before. In fact on 17th of this month, I am attending another party for opening of art exhibition by my painter friend. I might start with 2 or 3 people there itself. Someone, recently told me, if u do not speak up, no one is going to make efforts to read your mind. It is ok to approach people in a culturally appropriate way and either you would click with them in conversations or u wont but at least you would have made efforts rather than standing in a corner and feeling bored.
I plan to read a lot in coming months, my course related readers, readings for the thesis, and other interesting books and articles. It almost feels like a little adventure now to read an article looking for a central theme and making sure i got it right by confirming with the others. On my train ride from Leiden to Leuven yesterday, I read a nice article on ethical challenges in conducting research in non western contexts. The article was written in a very simple language and the reality described in there was almost similar to what we face back home, so it was easy to relate to it. For the first time, I also felt that I could write a similar article (not on the same topic) but in a similar simple language and building on my personal experience and that was an empowering feeling indeed. Reading and writing are the two areas that I am going to concentrate on in coming months.
Back to philosophical theories now, I have an exam on Wednesday and slowly there seem to be some threads of comfort between me, Levinas, Lacan and Gaita. But we have a long way to go to make meaningful bonds.
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