This is definitely not an easy one. I never feel like one cohesive unit of body and mind. For me, these two are always running in opposite direction. hmmmm this reverb 10 is getting tougher each day.. is this the serious reflection we are expected to do as the year 2010 gives birth to the year ahead?
I can think of two moments in the entire year when I felt 'one'. The two situations are so unlike the other. One was when I had magic mushrooms and that effect lasted almost for an hour. Conflict-free oneness of the body and mind with the psychodelic effects of the mushrooms. The other one came on the beginning of zen meditation but it barely lasted for a minute or even less. It felt wonderful and it kept me motivated to keep practicing it. I must be honest though, I never had that feeling again. It felt as if it was a 'promotion' offer on that particular day to have me in, knowing very well that this is the only way I will continue my inward search... through Zen meditation
Ohhh no.. that is not true.. I had just this moment yesterday evening, biking towards the lake in a small country side village near Leiden. The evening was setting in, the birds were returning home, there were geese and the storks. They were flying in such a disciplined and organized structures, the atmosphere was serene and calm and I could hear the clutter of the wings of hundreds of birds flying above my head as I was biking though the small lanes of the countryside. The lake was beautiful, there was a little island in the middle with a little house on it. The house is aptly called 'oneness', it is a literal meaning of the original dutch name "eenzaamheid" but it meant, 'being alone' Now I can think of that tiny house on the island as 'oneness' in truest sense. Being one with the self, the island, the lake, the sky. Is this not what we are talking about. Being integrated, being one. There were no human beings around, the wind was bringing in the sound of the traffic from Leiden, there were 4 traditional windmills that we could see around us. On Saturdays, for touristic reasons, they allow the traditional windmills to work on the wind. For the first time, in my life, I had a closer view of the windmill, I could peep through the closed window, I could see the wheel pulling out water from the polder into the canals. What a beautiful mechanism, again being one, the wind and the water.. integrated keeping the water levels in control. We sat by the lake, I was all ears just listening to the beautiful music of waves of the lake. The wind and the water again.. wind producing waves and waves splashing to the shore.. creating this magnificent melody of life. Just like the wind and the water, my body and mind were one, even though it was for a short while.. we walked and walked and we talked.. our footsteps were enough to alert the birds and they took off together creating again a huge clutter of the wings against the wind.. another kind of music got created. The evening grew dark, the sky displayed beautiful colors and shapes.. the windmills created magical moments on the backdrop of horizon... there was oneness in every aspect of life there.. there was silence and the silence sometimes turned into music... for the souls who could appreciate it.
We could see little moon in the sky.. we biked home without the lights on our bike, depending on our senses just not to have a fall. We could not see much and our eyes and the body had to be one to bike home.. it was beautiful how our senses concentrate without a slightest distraction in such moments... we were home and the old 'grandfather's clock' struck six. The evening grew even darker and colder over delicious pumpkin soup and some more interesting conversations.. late into night when I went to bed, I had a window opening to the sky, through which i could see the stars making an entry on this huge stage of the sky.. I had never seen something like that before.. falling asleep with a blanket of clouds and stars.. i wish I had better eyesight as it was impossible to feel them without my glasses on. My body and mind at that moment, could not be one without the assistance of a pair of glasses.. the wind brought in the beats of music from nearby house.. the fluffy clouds were floating by and I kept trying to see the stars without my glasses on.. at some point, I surrendered to sleep... and turned into another beautiful experience of oneness of my body and mind..
No comments:
Post a Comment