I transitioned through 3 real communities in the year 2010 and I think I will be again transitioning through 3 yet another communities in 2011. The year 2010 also showed me how virtual communities can outcast you when you make a mistake. This is how my story goes.
From January to August 2010, I was integral part of student community at University of Amsterdam. To define my community or probably what could be called a little family, it was my class at AMMA, the medical anthropology program that we were part of. 15 of us, 11 nationalities, 4 continents and many more subcultures within us and we were studying anthropology in one of the most ethnically diverse cities in the world, Amsterdam. If I remember correctly, I read that persons from 139 different nationalities live in this city. Life in this community was extremely comfortable, warm, accepting and friendly in spite of all the stress of student life.
August and September, I was back in India, amidst my family and about to merge with other family through matrimony. But when things did not go as planned, I was to experience what it means to threaten the norms of community and society and the the aftereffects of it. The same happened with the online community, like facebook. Suddenly there was a wave of 'block/remove' this person from friends list campaign and the members of 'our common' community shrunk in number almost overnight. One actually wonders, how social networking sites and online communities do have a powerful way of telling you 'you are not required in their life any more'. The friends suddenly cease to be your friends as if you never existed and it is just a click of mouse but can have same effect as being ostracized in real community life. I realized borders between the real and virtual communities are very unclear and same is the distinction between the communities you are born and raised within and communities that you create around you or become part of.
From October onwards, I am in this tiny student town in Belgium, surrounded by fellow classmates from diverse nationalities. This is my current community which has brought out some healing effect on my emotional wounds. How can I forget the community of 'Gray Lotuses' at my meditation center, now we also have some lotus buds in this community but all these guys made life so much livable. All the warmth and care they showed to me is beyond words and may be that is why it hurts so much that the next Tuesday will be my last day with these gray lotuses. Beginning of the new year, i will be transitioning into a new community in Nijmegen and then yet another transition in Padova.
Wonder what community means to me. It is a group of people where I feel comfortable and at peace. Where I can be who I am, express my joys and fears, sorrows and concerns. Where I could laugh with the others and I could also cry. Why is it that I find it easy to connect with people who are complete strangers to me but fail to do so within my inner circles of the family. Why i share my secrets and worries with friends who could be from absolutely different culture and outlook but not with a cousin or some aunt? Why I feel so isolated within my extended family but I am completely integrated into these transitory communities. I do not know the answer. May be it is about difference. Being with people with such diverse backgrounds allows me to fit with them in some strange ways. I do not have to be like the others as it is impossible to be like the others but you loose that privilege in your own socio-cultural setting. May be more stringent norms apply to you when you are in your home land and that is not the case when you are out of it. It probably is also easy to walk out of communities that you by choice became part of but may not be so for the communities in which you are born and raised.
I am also slowly becoming part of this new found 'blogger's community'. I read their blogs and smile as i see those recurring themes in the writing. It makes no difference where you are from and what you do but it seems all of us who are blogging, we feel this intense need to share our lives, thoughts, joys, worries and fears with some 'stranger' in this world wide web who actually might know you better just through your words. You start to pick up, their likes and dislikes and what makes them happy and what their struggles are. yet another form of community, quite scattered but still intricately connected to each other through those 'webs of significance'.
One thing is for sure, I was wrong when I thought I could be happy on my own without much social/communal backing. Over years I have understood, I need much more communal support to redefine myself and grow in the process but what is flexible here is the kind of community I need to be part of. The community which is open, accommodative, challenging, encouraging, stimulating at the same time giving me a strong sense of belonging. In short, it has to be a community that I choose to be part of and not one where I am expected to belong. I must say, I have been lucky to always have some sort of 'community' standing by my side even in worst of times and I am grateful for their support.
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